How to Dismantle the Power of Fear in Your Life

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Anxiety has become a popular word in our culture, but it is really our fear talking.”

By Abigail Cole Hardin, CLC; PNLP

By Abigail Cole Hardin, CLC; PNLP

We’ve all felt it.

The tight chest, the catch in our throat, the churning in our stomach, the loss of breath, the thumping heartbeat—all of these physical reactions indicate our fear. Whether it is fear of a predator or fear of confrontation, the experience leaves us feeling stuck, powerless, and worried of what might happen.

When we have had threatening situations or unexpected negative outcomes in our lives, our brain logs those experiences into our emotional memory to keep us hyper-vigilant and to scan for any potential threats. We do this out of survival. Our brains know that we never want to again experience those threats and heartbreak like we did in the past. So, with good intentions, our brains are always looking to keep us safe by avoiding any situation that may be potentially hurtful.

Yet, while in this survival mechanism, we can become ruled by fear.

When fear rules, we might become overly cautious or worried as a way of life.

We may fret and try to prepare for the worst outcomes.
We might talk down to ourselves saying we “should have known better” if we put ourselves into a risky situation.
We also might unknowingly judge people for their words or actions waiting for them to let us down.

This constant angst is a low level of anxiety.

We can’t rest. Our minds are always buzzing trying to detect potential emotional landmines and anticipate how to avoid them.

Anxiety has become a popular word in our culture, but it is really our fear talking.

Psychologist Carl Jung said, “All behavior has a reason.” But I believe as a culture that is becoming more emotionally aware, we tend to accept our anxiety as a way of life or a disorder in which we have no control.

This is wrong.

Anxiety is an indicator that we need to address something. It’s a behavior that has a reason. So, instead of accepting it, I challenge you to get curious about it.

While I’ve been co-leading our Hardwired to Heal workshops, I have had to learn so much about our brains and how they are “hardwired to survive.” The point of our workshop is to provide resources and techniques to work with your brain so you can hardwire it to heal.

One technique that I talk about is “Verbal Ventilation.” which is a powerful tool to dismantle the power of your fear.

The purpose of this exercise is to get out of your mental chatter or inner feelings and onto paper or out loud. Once you know the thoughts you’re having, you can finally address them and decide if they are “True or False.”

I realized in my own life how I was getting stuck in fear. It shows up in my procrastination, avoidance, isolation, and low-level angst.

I know that this is not the life I want to accept—I know it’s not the life that Christ said He purchased for me. He did not redeem my life from the pit, so I could continually live in slavery, ruled by fear. He purchased for me a life of freedom and replaced my “spirit of fear with a spirit of love, power, and self-discipline” (2 Tim. 1:7).

Yet while knowing these truths, it wasn’t until I got out-loud that my brain started integrating these truths.

Verbal Ventilation might look different for each person, but I wanted to share what mine looks like in hopes of it inspiring a curiosity to the behaviors in your life. While the behaviors may have valid reasons, they do not have to be what rules you everyday.

So, if you’re like me, wanting to dismantle fear —get out loud about it.

You can do this on paper or you can talk out loud to it as if it were in the room and separate from you. You can confide to a safe, understanding person about what your fear is like. The goal is to not let fear lurk in the shadows, but to bring it out into the light, so you can dismantle its power over you.

I also recommend Hopeful Self Journaling as a way to help have a constructive way to write. It was in my Hopeful Self Journaling practice that I wrote this Verbal Ventilation, so you may detect its structure.

Abigail’s Verbal (Written) Ventilation to Fear:

Daily Affirmation:

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18 NASB

Lord, you’re challenging me in how I love—and how I see love. Thank you for having a perfect plan to PERFECT me in LOVE and to FREE me from FEAR.

I fear so much… it’s such a bitter, heartbreaking root.

In this fear, I’m not trusting you… at all. I’m not trusting in your power, in your plan, in the Holy Spirit’s intervention—none of it. I unconsciously worship my fear believing it will keep me safe. BUT THAT IS A LIE!

FEAR = ISOLATION

FEAR = BITTERNESS

FEAR = SELFISHNESS

FEAR = SHAME

FEAR = STUCK/PARALYSIS

FEAR = LIES

And the only solution to fear

= PERFECT LOVE.

Lord, I am grieved about my fear. It has held me back in all areas, it has prevented me from healing and receiving love. It makes my life a burden—I HATE it. It is wrong! This life of fear is the life you FREED me from, and yet, here I continue living it.

NO MORE.

I am not called to this life. And, by your power, I can refuse its rule over me.

I’m ready to EMBRACE the TRUE LIFE you purchased for me.

Why fear is false:

Fear is even the root of my double-thinking, and it tells me that I have to be hyper-vigilant to stay safe and control my world and decisions and people in my life. So WRONG!

Fear also tells me that I must depend on myself to provide for myself and stay safe and make more money—it turns into a taskmaster and it drives me to despair.

what is TRUTH:

The Lord has clear vision of my past, present, and future, and promises to never give me something more than I can handle because….

The Lord continually supplies the power! Also…

The Lord knows what’s best for me, so I don’t have to FEAR my decisions or my plans because they are not ultimate—His plans are ultimate, and they are for my GOOD! And for His GLORY!

Bottom Line:

FEAR is the antithesis of LOVE!

And of course, the enemy uses fear as a tool to dismantle love—always reminding us of past hurts instead of the truth of God’s redemption and power to restore!

I’M OVER FEARING.

I DENOUNCE ITS RULE OVER ME!

Of course your verbal ventilation needs to be specific to you and in your words. But hopefully you saw it calls out the lies we have believed and substitutes it with the truth statements. By writing it down or saying it out loud you are rewiring your brain by creating a new neural pathway that can replace the old one that has kept you in exhausting patterns.