Is It Possible to Find My Way Back to ME?
“COVID-19 exposed my tendency to numb and keep moving. Here’s how I got back into my skin and fought off years of a disconnected lifestyle.”
By Karla Hardin, MS LPC
By Karla Hardin, MS LPC
If COVID-19 virus has shown us one thing…besides the fact that we touch our face all day –it has shown us the many ways we numb and keep moving.
The funniest meme I have seen this week is to wear your facemask in your house so you won’t constantly eat! We laugh out loud because we get it!
Not being able to go to restaurants, bars, retail shops and sporting events has highlighted our country’s favorite numbing past times! At least we have been left at home with one escape mechanism – our phones. So endless scrolling or thinking of new things to google has helped to pass a few hours of the day but even that has gotten old.
Coming off our numbing styles and devices is like going to a rehab you didn’t plan. The sudden detox stripped away so much so fast that we start to have a rush of feelings and emotions that are uncomfortable and unwanted.
The problem with numbing is that it keeps us from consciously experiencing the present moment.
When we aren’t living in our present moment we are not connected with our REAL self. I like to say – “We are outside of our skin”.
When I am outside of my real, true self, I am not thinking about what I value the most. I am not in touch with my creative side or reflective self that thinks on the deeper longings of what I want my life to count for.
Without deeper reflection, we go more into autopilot-mode of just “doing”. We become machine-like. Life becomes merely a task to complete instead of a passion and a calling to realize.
This is NOT how God designed us.
QUICK BRAIN FACTS
The brain is designed to work from the bottom to the top and from the right to the left.
The bottom is the primitive brain that first and foremost is focused on survival. It will cause you to jump out of the way of danger before you even have time to consciously process it.
Your midbrain stores memories to help you quickly evaluate if something is a possible threat to either your physical or emotional safety. All of the animal kingdom is similar to us in that the first goal of their brain is to keep them alive and to avoid harm.
Where we are drastically different from the animals is that we have the upper brain – the Prefrontal Cortex. It is composed of the right and left hemispheres.
The right side holds the essence of who you uniquely are. It reflects your personality, your deepest core beliefs and values, as well as life’s ultimate meaning.
The left side contains the executive function dimension, which allows us to reason and take action.
Here is the key to living your best life as your REAL self –Don’t Miss It!
God designed us to first connect with our ultimate meaning and uniqueness of who we are BEFORE we head out the door and take “action”. (Remember the brain is designed to work from right to left?)
3 things happen if we don’t access our true self (right brain) first:
1. If we aren’t connected to ourselves we never feel fulfilled.
2. If we aren’t connected to ourselves we have shallow connections with others.
3. If we aren’t connected to ourselves we become “machine-like,” exhausted and just want to escape.
And it is for these reasons –we NUMB.
Seriously, it is not hard to understand why we numb if we are unfulfilled, disconnected in our relationships, and exhausted.
COVID-19 has stripped us of our numbing agents of choice and exposed what is beneath the waterline as to where we really are.
The Good News…
We can find our way back to our true self and break the patterns of numbing that we have seen our family and our country do for generations.
AND HERE IS HOW:
First,
In order to get back in touch with your design –you need to get in touch with the One who designed you.
This means realizing that your spiritual life and relationship with God can’t be occasional or taking a back seat.
For example, a lamp is created to bring light and sight to all around it. But if the lamp is never plugged into the power source it will never reach it’s designed potential. Get plugged in to your Creator.
‘Let us press on to know Him.
He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn
or the coming of rains in early spring.”
Hosea 6:3
Second,
Learn and use techniques to get “back in your skin” and into the present moment. The Breath box – a breathing technique we recommend is easy and you can do it anywhere. See Abigail’s “how-to” here.
Yoga is a great way to learn how to be in the present moment and will help you build a habit of staying present. One of my favorites when you feel overwhelmed is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique and you can find this on our Resources page.
“For You formed my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Psalm 139:13-14
Third,
Find and invest in meaningful relationships.
We were not designed to be alone. God first created us to have relationships as He does with the Godhead. Even a baby cannot develop in a healthy way without caring connection. Determine to find people that value you for your true self versus what you do.
“Two are better than one. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
CONNECT WITH GOD
CONNECT TO YOUR BODY
CONNECT WITH OTHERS
These three simple redirects will lead you back to your true self and forever banish your need to numb!
Karla Hardin is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Passionate Living Counseling and Trauma Specialist for Hardin Life Resources
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