How to Rethink Resolutions

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For those who make New Year’s resolutions or any plan of action, we eventually learn that it’s never that simple…”

By Abigail Cole Hardin, CLC; PNLP

By Abigail Cole Hardin, CLC; PNLP

New Year’s Resolutions: What are we resolving?

Too much holiday food? Bad habits? Finances? #RelationshipGoals???

…No matter what it is, we see a problem, and we want to fix it. This is the time of year when we actually have a moment to think,

“Hmmm, I want to do something different for the new year... it’s time for a change.”

Great. You’ve made a list; you have a plan of action; and you plug in the formula and voila! Problem solved! 

Eeeerk, not so fast. For those who make New Year’s resolutions or any plan of action, we have learned that it’s never that simple.

When life stressors enter into the mix, our plans slowly but surely unravel —not because we didn’t make a plan, but because we didn’t allow for error.  

Usually when we are trying to make a change, there’s an “all or nothing” mentality. “I must eat only this and avoid that or I won’t get to my target weight.” True, that is your plan of action, but what happens when you’re “hangry” and the breadbasket is put on the table? Yep, only crumbs are left.

However, the problem is not that you erred from your plan—the problem is the shift in mentality.

Instead of thinking “What I did was bad,” we say to ourselves, “I am bad.” This is the difference between guilt and shame.

When we start to put ourselves on performance, we value more ‘what we do’ over ‘who we are.’ And when we are not “doing” the plan, we have a warped image of ourselves.

So, why do we make New Year’s resolutions?

We want a change.

But in our attempts to change aspects of our lives, we must be so careful to love ourselves in each moment and allow ourselves to be human—to make errors—and to learn how to resolve them.

As Christians, we can fully embrace being human because we know we are forgiven and fully accepted because of Christ’s sacrifice for us. So, our discipline and obedience is our act of worship—it’s a matter of the heart more than a matter of our results.

Our challenge is to remind ourselves of this truth and to continue trusting the Lord with our results while we move forward in faith.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

 –Winston Churchill