"What Not to Wear" -The Reality Show That Teaches The Secret to Finding Your BEST LIFE

By Karla Hardin, MS LPC

Remember how this show worked? Family and friends nominated someone they loved to get a complete makeover! Those close to these nominated contestants saw what was holding them back from the life they longed for either personally or professionally! Stacy and Clinton would then swoop in and surprise the lucky person chosen to do their magic.

Before the transformation could begin though… They had to face the 360-degree MIRROR! It’s the first step to getting honest!

The process was simple. They had to take their present wardrobe and model it in the famous 360-degree mirror! It was here that all the “unseen” problems got exposed from every angle.

This show distilled not only some truths about fashion but truths about how most of us operate in life.

Fallacy #1: We think we are “fine”.

We have all grown accustomed to saying this response so often that we actually think it’s true. We think we are happier than we really are, have better relationships than we really do, and that if we don’t look at what really is going on below the surface that we will escape the pain that lurks within.

I watched hundreds of episodes of “What Not to Wear” and I can’t remember one where the person chosen for the makeover didn’t honestly believe that what they were wearing was just “fine”. Some even thought it was great. My point – we are all capable of deceiving ourselves.

The wild thing is that the bible actually speaks about this kind of self-deception in several verses. The two that stand out are:

James 1:23-24

“For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; 24 for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.”

Jeremiah 17:9-10a

9 “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it? 10 “I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind…

These verses point out how quickly we forget what reality is and how often we fool ourselves.

Do you see how this sets us up for never living our best life?

It’s hard to live your best life when you are out of touch with reality and you aren’t honest with yourself.

So where do Stacy and Clinton start? They start by facing reality.

Reality starts with the surround-view mirror that allows us to see ourselves from every angle.

So what angles or sides of ourselves do we need to see in order to get a grasp of our reality? I believe there are four distinct lenses we need to see ourselves from. All are equally important in helping to give an accurate assessment of where we really are.

Our Physical self looks through the lens of the basics needed for survival.

Our Social self looks through the lens of belonging and connection.

Our Emotional self looks through the lens of self-concept and value.

Our Spiritual self looks through the lens of hope and transcendence.

To get up-close, here are some questions to yourself in each:

PHYSICAL

What are things I am doing that might be harmful to my body? I.e. drinking too much, mainly a carb diet, too little sleep, over-medicated, token exercise and the list continues with brutal honesty.

The fact is we can’t live our best lives without a healthy body.

SOCIAL

Ask those who I am in regular relationships with “How am I doing?” i.e. What is the hardest thing about being married to me? What do you need from me that I fail to give you? (children) What’s holding me back from excelling? (boss and co-workers)

Get prepared to hear some hard things if they aren’t afraid of you. We all fear hearing the answers to questions like these but let me say they are already feeling this way –and asking actually gives you a chance to make corrections where as avoiding their feelings invites resentment and hardness to eventually wall you out of their lives.

EMOTIONAL

Am I allowing myself to really feel my feelings –even if they are difficult? i.e. Commit to allow your sad feelings, resentful feelings and lonely feelings to surface because this is the only way to resolve them. Some feelings point to losses we never grieved, or boundaries we didn’t set.

Feelings don’t go away if they aren’t faced. Instead they show up in things like migraines, IBS, chronic fatigue and other places end up storing feelings you haven’t dealt with.

SPIRITUAL

Why does my life matter? Is there a greater purpose I am meant for? Will my life end up leaving a lasting mark?

Often we don’t get to these type questions because living life is so daily. Work, dinner, and dentist appointments keep us focused on the here and now. But we need this lens more than we think. This is where we find hope. Hope to face illness, lost dreams, and constant disappointments. We all need hope daily. How can you deepen your spiritual life? This is a worthy question to ask yourself.

God wants us to experience our best life. So much so that He gave us a “living mirror” in His written word.

And He tucked away a powerful truth about His 360-degree mirror in James 1:25.

25 But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.

The promise is clear. When we look into the mirror –which is actually designed to set us free instead of condemn us, we FIND OUR BEST LIVES.

Karla Hardin is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Passionate Living Counseling and Trauma Specialist for Hardin Life Resources

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