Are You a Workaholic?

Where is the line between working hard and work consuming you? Consider your relationship with work in the new year!

By Andrea Ferguson, MS, P-LPC

Hello, my name is Andrea and I am a recovering workaholic. (Cue- hello Andrea!)

Workaholism

Wait that’s a thing? Yes, it really is! The American Psychological Association defines workaholism as:

The compulsive need to work and to do so to an excessive degree.

A workaholic is one who has trouble refraining from work. This type of driven over-involvement in work is often a source of significant stress, interpersonal difficulties, and health problems.  

Does this sound familiar to anyone? What stood out to you most? …Over-involvement? Interpersonal difficulties? Health problems?

What I’d like to shift our attention to is the interpersonal difficulties workaholism may cause in our lives, specifically in our relationships. That’s right, believe it or not, our unhealthy relationship with work doesn’t end with us. It has a way of spilling over into other relationships in our life. 

More than likely, you didn’t wake up one day and say, “I am going to lose myself in my job”. No, such over-involvement with work increases over a period of time. It starts with perhaps helping your supervisor with a new project in hopes of winning their favor. Then it may turn into checking emails on the weekend just to get ahead of the week. Each of these seemingly small decisions tends to have a snowball effect and often affects our relationships outside of the office.

Some examples may include the following:

• Checking email after work and on the weekends.

  • When we choose to take work home with us, we’re taking time away from our families and needs at home.

• Allowing oneself to ruminate on issues at work.

  • This is a crazy maker! When ruminating we are not living in the present moment and are unable to properly engage with those around us.

• An inability to speak up for yourself at work.

  • If left unchecked, this dynamic can easily be replicated in relationships at home.

Ok, so you might be saying, “I just checked all of the boxes above and have diagnosed myself as a workaholic, what do I do now”?

3 Steps to Change Your Your Relationship With Work:

Step 1:

Before you make any drastic moves, step back and simply allow yourself to breathe. This may look like taking a day or two off to decompress. If we are burnt out, we do not have the ability to properly process our current situation. 

Step 2:

In order to break the cycle, we must first learn the cycle. A great starting point would be to ask yourself the following questions with the help of a trusted friend or counselor

-How did I get here?

-What am I afraid of?

- What do I want?

-Where/What do I want to see change?

-What can I do to facilitate that change? As difficult as it can be, do your best to focus on what is within your control.

Step 3:

Now that you have taken a step back, were able to ask yourself the hard questions, and learn the cycle, now it’s time to break the cycle. And how do we do that? Say it with me… BOUNDARIES!

BOUNDARIES

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership”. -Dr. Henry Cloud

Here are a few examples of what boundaries may look like in regard to work and working relationships:

Boundaries with yourself

• I will not check my email after working hours.

• On the way home from work, I will listen to my favorite music/ podcast to decompress. I will not bring the stress/ bad energy of work into my home.

Boundaries with your boss

• If my boss adds another task to my plate, I will say the following:

• Thank you for trusting me with this task; however, I am at capacity at the moment. I am happy to take this task on once I complete X. Or I am happy to take on this task if X is taken off my plate.

Boundaries with co-workers

• When my coworker Sally begins her daily vent session, I will say the following: “Hey Sally, I really enjoy working alongside you. I think we make a great team and manage to even share some laughs. Today, I am at at capacity. I understand if you need a minute to let the complaints out. I’ll be ready to pick up where we left off once you’ve had a chance to regroup.”

In short, boundaries help to protect us. Protect our space, protect our serenity.

Our boundaries are guidelines not only for how we choose to live our lives, but how we will interact with others, and allow others to interact with us. 

As we all know, such issues are often not solved in 3 easy steps. This blog is an aid to help ignite change in your life.

If you believe you need to talk with someone to help process your unhealthy relationships surrounding work, I would encourage you to check out the Hardin Life website. Be sure to check out the “About” page to see each Hardin Life counselor’s bio to find the right fit for you!

Thanks for reading!

Andrea Ferguson has a Masters in Counseling from Mississippi College and is currently accruing hours for full LPC licensure. She resides in Jackson, Mississippi while also leading workshops for BPO, Intl.

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