Why Having Fun is Good for You!
“Improve your health, relationships, and mood by simply having fun!”
-Philip K. Hardin, M.A, M.Div. LMFT, LPC, Clinical Member of AAMFT
by Philip K. Hardin, M.A, M.Div. LMFT, LPC, Clinical Member of AAMFT
“Stuck in Belize”
. . . that phrase makes me laugh. I am living it out today as Karla and I are returning from 10 days in Belize celebrating our 40th Wedding Anniversary. The time together has been filled with wonder and beauty as we have enjoyed the country of Belize, remembered our 40-year adventure, and experienced the deep intimacy of being with one another.
And yet, today we are stuck … the airline flight home was canceled, so we get one extra day in Belize. I write this while sitting in the hotel restaurant, drinking coffee, and remembering our celebration.
I think I’m smiling because “stuck in Belize” is like being stuck in paradise and stuck in FUN!
Karla and I believe that fun and celebration are an important part of life. Celebration is worship. There is a dance between work and rest. They are both essential. We can’t see our work properly until we get some distance from it and involve ourselves in other activities, such as celebration, play, and having fun. With that perspective and rested bodies and minds, we return to do better work.
Research has shown that those who play the most during adolescence live longer, healthier lives and leave more offspring behind, promoting the continuation of their species.
Play deprivation has serious consequences.
Psychiatrist Stuart Brown has noted that adults who have “forgotten how to play” have narrow, rigid thinking and a decreased ability to handle stress. In his own clinical practice, Dr. Brown has found that play-less adult lives are also associated with controlling behavior, over-ambition, envy, and in some cases, emotional breakdown.
Playfulness and having FUN are associated with positive behaviors that enhance survival and quality of life, including:
Creativity – Play inspires, activates imagination, and increases dreams.
Productivity – Play prepares us for work.
Flexibility – Play increases adaptability, makes us less rigid, angry, and controlling.
Trust – Play moves us to believe that God makes a way.
Empathy – Play helps us listen and care about others.
Selflessness – Play moves us away from narcissism and toward generosity.
Cooperation – Play helps us be team players.
Problem Solving – Play helps us address challenges.
Ability to Handle Stress – Play removes fear and decreases anxiety.
Build Connection & Community – Play helps us belong.
I offer 3 ways to restore play and fun:
Laughter: Learn to Laugh Again. Laughter is Critical.
Where there is NO FUN, there is NO PLEASURE, NO SAFETY, & NO SATISFACTION and certainly no laughter.
Laughter is a reward of humility and utter dependence upon God. It descends like rain upon a parched heart. Judgment doesn’t shower people with a sense of humor but rather arrogance and isolation. James explodes in his warning to hypocritical sinners: “Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning, and your joy to gloom.”
G.K. Chesterton, who would infect C.S. Lewis with the sanity of the Christian faith through his delightful paradoxes, explained how this laughter of joy was necessary.
“Life is serious all the time,” he quipped, “but living cannot be. You may have all the solemnity you wish in choosing your neckties, but in anything important such as death, sex, and religion, you must have humor, or you will have madness.”
“Laugh and fear not, creatures. Now that you are no longer dumb and witless, you need not always be grave. For jokes as well as justice come in with speech.” – C.S. Lewis
The light of God’s gift of laughter can lighten our load in this journey.
Like the gospel, laughter is contagious and can draw people not only to God but to each other.
Laugh More.
2. Shared Experiences.
Play is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting.
Playing together brings joy, vitality, and resilience to relationships. Play can also heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Through regular play, we learn to trust one another and feel safe.
Karla and I have loved our play time in Belize. We play well together. We enjoy being together. I love “play time” with my bride.
Play could be simply goofing off with friends, sharing jokes, playing fetch with a dog, enjoying games at a party, or going for a bike ride. There doesn’t need to be any point to the activity beyond having fun and enjoying yourself with someone you enjoy being with. By giving yourself permission to play with the joyful abandon of childhood, you can reap the dividends of health benefits throughout life.
Play More.
3. The Artful Use of Surprise.
"Go ahead, make my day." Surprise is about restoring mystery and wonder to your relationship.
Caring behaviors can become routine. For example, you make the coffee as a caring behavior, which is met with anticipation, later followed by expectation, but over the years can become routine. You may need to “spice it up.” Commit to surprise. Be creative.
Surprises can lead to greater intimacy, tender interactions, lighthearted fun, and relationship contentment.
They can act as a catalyst for a whole host of other relationship patterns to shift for the better through a domino-like effect.
Here’s some suggestions for surprise:
Give a card with your own additional writing.
Bring flowers.
Buy or make special dessert.
Plan an enjoyable activity. Think about what your partner really enjoys and do that!
Choose a personalized surprise that “fits” or “feeds” your partner’s great passions.
Surprise More.
“Stuck in Belize” is a fitting title for my thoughts in this writing. As I conclude, I am sitting in the Airport in Belize, remembering the sacred time I have spent with my best friend, life partner, and the love of my life.
We have laughed, played, and surprised one another with our 40th Anniversary Celebration. I feel rested, grateful, and inspired. YES – “Stuck in Belize” is a song in my heart! I will continue to write the song … I’m stuck in love!
Ride ON!
Phil
Phil Hardin works as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with Hardin Life Resources practicing in both Jackson, MS and Fairhope, AL.
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