Why It's Important to Reflect on Your Past This Season
Consider what you can learn from bringing back things forgotten.
By Guest Contributor Lisa Donohue, CLC
“The past is never lost to us – we carry it within us, everywhere we go. It is in every cell of our body and soul. It is where we have been; it is where we learn to love; it is where we made our mistakes, and where we can consign them. The gift is knowing that the present will soon pass, and that the way we embrace it has the power to change everything.”
“Call the Midwives” opening monologue
Remembering…bringing back things forgotten. For some it evokes joy and faith, for others pain and regret; for most, some combination of each. And though perhaps one of the most fruitful methods for healing and finding hope, few find the effort of bringing back things forgotten worth the sacrificed time.
Remembering is a discipline not highly revered in American culture for it involves slowing down, storytelling, and listening. It’s a learned behavior slipping away from generations now consumed with anticipating the future. Yet in remembering we turn our gaze from the unknown (and uncontrollable) future to a memorable imprint of the past. Here, there’s a unique settling into grace, laying down effort to manipulate lives for one’s desired good in exchange for a willingness to see God’s plan organically unfolding. All of creation, the rhythms of season, the stability of God, the promise of eternity down to the last breath we will take has been set apart for glory. As we remember these often-forgotten things, we rest. We wait. We hope.
The benefits of remembering things particularly joyful or truthful, leave healthy imprints on our physical, social, emotional, and spiritual being.
C.S. Lewis once wrote, “A pleasure is full grown only when it is remembered.”
But we can’t neglect the hurting parts of bringing back things forgotten…loss, grief, abuse, neglect, wounds, or regret. For if we neglect to address the forgotten hurts our body will physically hold it for us until we do. They too affect our life physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually.
Remembering things forgotten is not irrelevant, nor waste of time. It isn’t passive, it’s not even daydreaming, not by a long shot. Consider how quickly we choose to scroll instead of think, post instead of ponder, shop instead of being still.
There are many reasons remembering things forgotten is placed on the back burner, these are but a few.
1. Pain avoidance.
Remembering is often painful to the heart, mind, and soul. There may be loss, there may be grief. The thought of remembering may bring shivers to those who’ve fought hard to forget. But the mind, body and soul does not forget. Pain unprocessed is fertile ground for depression, anger, and bitterness, all of which create tension in relationships. When I remember, I am dismayed, and shuddering seizes my flesh. Job 21:6
2. Addiction.
Shopping, technology, people-pleasing, noise, busyness, alcohol, and drugs are known behaviors that may have originally eliminated pain or helped one cope through a difficult season. It becomes a means of control. However, with addiction, spare time quickly dissolves into the land of nothingness and nowhere. Simply put, once the brain finds a means of comfort or temporarily eliminating the past, it will restructure to remain in that path. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matt 26:41
3. Productivity.
Culture embraces the idol of productivity, the more doing…the better. And though being productive is not wrong, it too is a beast with an insatiable appetite. Though there is a time for hard work, often the harder work is creating the time to be still, to listen, to remember. In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15
Bringing Back Things Forgotten; Questions to journal through Advent:
1. Recall a favorite scent from childhood, one that brings delight. Who was with you to enjoy it? What about that scent brings you comfort?
2. Remember a special gift from childhood. What made it special and who was it from?
3. Has anyone in your family, neighborhood, or friend group pursued you in faith? Consider remembering them with a Christmas card this year. It will be a double blessing as you both remember!
4. Remember a time God clearly revealed his faithfulness. Who was involved, how was the situation resolved?
5. As a child, did you attend or participate in a Christmas program? What scene was most impactful? Do you remember any songs or lines? Share this story with someone younger this Christmas. Or even more generous, listen to someone’s story this Christmas.
As you engage the things forgotten:
…Recognize that slowing down may be difficult. It’s what makes remembering a discipline. To help, you might consider processing these questions on daily walk, while lingering in a journal or by sharing your memories with a friend or group of friends.
For further growth, consider seeking healthy, trained care, and schedule a session with a counselor, life coach or spiritual director. Seeing someone who can safely bear witness without judgment will bring life, hope and healing.
Isn’t it astonishing that simultaneously we can remember things forgotten, engage the present, and wait for tomorrow…a gift to be unwrapped moment by moment.
“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
Luke 2:19
Lisa Donohue is author of Soul Rest, speaker, and AACC Certified Life Coach at Stonewashed LLC in Birmingham, Alabama.
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