When “Weary” Becomes Your Primary Emotion…

By Audrey Hardin, MS LPC

“On March 11, 2020 the Novel Coronavirus Disease, COVID-19, was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization.”

Meaning… we have seemingly all been at the mercy of a virus now for 16 weeks.

Four MONTHS of extreme lifestyle change –social isolation, economic strain, political hostility, zoom fatigue, racial injustice, witnessing others partake in destructive and divisive behaviors, an absence of respect, physical health concerns on top of mental health concerns –increased depression, anxiety, suicides, addiction, emotional abuse, domestic violence, child abuse…the list goes on.

For some, we have fought to stay hopeful and see this as an opportunity for rest and renewal. But I think we can all agree that the havoc of the virus has impacted much more than our lifestyles, it has wreaked havoc on our souls.

My soul, for one, is weary. Like, really weary. As much as I want to stay connected to God, myself, and others, sometimes the best I can muster is a “Lord, give me strength for this moment” -prayer. And it helps, but life keeps moving, and I soon lose touch with Him and myself once again.

When we are weary and threatened with more potential wear down, our brain’s automatic response is to downshift into the lower center of our brain –the survival center. We lose touch with our pre-frontal cortex –which allows us to be present, proactive, and fully connected. In turn, we simply endure.

With 4+ months of brain-strain, it’s not surprising that though many of us know better practices to engage in, few of us do. Instead, we opt for self-preserving activities, isolation, numbing, and comforting.

At the epicenter of our weariness is FORGETFULNESS.

Three foundational truths that We forget when waters rise:

1. WHO we are.

When we downshift into survival mode, we lose contact with who we are (located in the higher center of the brain -our prefrontal cortex).

I can forget that I am more than a role I play as counselor and most recently, project manager with a home renovation.

Roles seem easier and safer to live out of because they are more definable and less risky to get hurt. However, we are called to live out of ALL of who we are (emotional, physical, social, spiritual [Luke 2:52]). To live as a whole person, we must acknowledge and commit to growing in all 4 areas of self. Only then will our identity stay intact when the waves start raging.

Read Psalm 139

2. WHOSE we are.

We are NOT alone.

More often than I care to admit, I get so caught up in there here-and-now that I downshift to operating as if I am the only one that I can rely on…especially during social isolation. I must remember those who are in my life to journey with -whether family or friends… Just because I can’t see them or I haven’t talked to them recently does not mean they are not there.

Ultimately, though, I must remember that I belong to the Creator of the universe who holds the entire world -including me- in His hand. He has unlimited power and strength -never growing tired or weary.

Psalm 121

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

3. WHERE we are.

We must remember where we are in the present moment. We must acknowledge where we are emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually. We cannot be fully present and connected if we don’t first get honest about where we are.

For example, I am emotionally exhausted, sad, and fearful; physically -sluggish, sore, with a low attention span; socially -slightly disconnected and lonely but grateful I am still working; spiritually -aware I am not alone but longing for more truth of Who God is so I can live and walk in faithful obedience and trust.

By remembering and acknowledging where I am, I open myself up in willingness to see where I need to go and grow!

Most importantly though, we must remember where we are in light of God’s ultimate plan for us.

If I look at the here and now, I can easily fall into a depressive slump. But, if I look at this life as a blip in light of Eternity…a “momentary, light affliction” as Paul states in 2 Corinthians, my purpose and hope is renewed.

As my dad always says, “Hold onto your fork, the BEST is yet to come!” -Amen!?

So what do I need to do to remember?

1. Journal

Keep a journal to document your thoughts, feelings, and how you see God working in your life and the lives of others.

2. Others

We need one another to remind us of the truth about ourselves, our circumstances, our purpose, and our God. Find your team to build you up instead of constantly pointing out the negative.

3. God’s Word

The Bible is the ultimate source of Truth to remind us of the Character of God and His plan of restoring the world back to His original intent. We will become weary through long suffering in this world. Read to discover all of the ways God uses suffering for our good throughout the Bible. Consider the lives of Abraham, Sarah, Elijah, Job, David, Paul, and Jesus to name a few.

I hope you will find refreshment for your weary soul as you fight to remember the truth of Who you are, Whose you are, and Where you are in God’s story.

Audrey Hardin is a Staff Therapist and Speaker at The Center for Integrative Counseling and Psychology in Dallas, TX.

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