How Should We Act on November 4th?
“Our enemy is not one another or another’s perceived ignorance. Rather, there is only one cosmic enemy and we must stand together against this ruler of darkness.”
By Karla Hardin, MS LPC
By Karla Hardin, MS LPC
With just less than 48 hours until we elect our next president, I am quiet before the Lord because it is time to pause and think on what I am to learn and hold on to from this season in our nation. What am I walking away with? How will I be different on November 4th as a result of what I have learned?
Following is my repost with some added thoughts on what I wrote two months ago and my final conclusion as to my “take-a-ways”.
This election, is like none other I can remember, is the most emotionally charged on record. I dread looking at social media as I fear what polarizing and derogatory statements will be posted. With emotions so high, we have lost the art of civility and being able to discuss topics with those we have differing opinions with.
This polarization has led some to take on long monologues publicly while others shrink and go silent. Honestly, it reminds me of couples and families that have come into my office because they have forgotten or never learned to express themselves without attacking or running away.
How did we get this way?
How do we lose our “sense and sensibility” when we disagree with others?
We get “triggered” because another person’s strong reaction or opinion threatens our emotional safety and value. And when we are threatened, we downshift to our primitive brain and our survival instincts kick in.
The four survival styles are fight, flight, freeze or fawn.
FIGHT
The fight style seeks to get the upper hand when threatened through a “one up” position of intellect, power or control.
FLIGHT
The flight style tries to perfect themselves to avoid threat but moves toward escape or numbing when they can’t achieve perfection. (hence, all the alcohol during Covid)
FREEZE
The freeze style does just that when threatened. This person “holds their breath” and hopes it goes away. If I refuse to acknowledge it – it can’t hurt me.
FAWN
The fawn style tries to please everyone else hoping their adaptive style will keep them out of the line of fire or attack.
We all do one or more of these styles when threatened.
This is instinctual and helps us keep safe in many situations. The main problem is that when we are in our survival style we are NOT in our upper brain – the prefrontal cortex!
Our prefrontal cortex (PFC) is where we are our best self. We are connected with our needs and who we are, and we are reasoning and make decisions based on our executive skills versus an emotional reaction.
An illustration of how we lose our ability to function as our best self when threatened is seen through what lifeguards discovered.
In the old day’s lifeguards were trained to swim out to the drowning person to save them - until the lifeguards were getting drowned by the frantic person!
What was learned from this is when a person is in survival mode, they cannot logically reason (thus why they would drown the person trying to save them).
In survival we are only thinking of ourselves and can and will do things we would never do in our PFC. Basically, we act like animals in our primitive brain.
So, how can we stay in our prefrontal cortex and talk about politics?
Start with these 3 things:
1. Self-assess which survival style you are.
- Are you emotionally reactive?
- Are you arrogant and judging and pushy with your views?
- Are you eating and drinking to feel better?
- Are you hypervigilant to follow rules so you escape criticism?
- Are you tense and avoidant when politics comes up in conversation?
** Your first step is to see how you are handling triggers and take ownership of your own style and how it can be hurtful to others.
2. Upshift to your Prefrontal cortex by:
- Calming the body first.
If you are triggered your body moves to hyperarousal and is on its way to the primitive brain. You can interrupt this by simple breathing techniques. 4 rounds of deep breathing can bring your body back to a neutral state. Check out the breath box.
- Redirecting your thoughts.
Your goal is to get into your left brain where you are utilizing your executive reasoning skills. When we are “evaluating and reasoning” we stay in the PFC.
** Here are my updated thoughts after seeing the last two months unfold.
The last two months have saddened me in regard to how the Body of Christ has responded to the differing viewpoints of fellow Christians.
I have no problem with people having strong opinions and convictions and defending their reasons for their beliefs. I have seen wonderful God-fearing Christians on both sides of the aisle acting in “good conscious” as they prepare to vote.
But herein lies my concern:
We have a “higher” calling to love and support one another than to elect the “correct” candidate.
Our witness to the world is to be marked by “our love for one another” as John 13:35 clearly states.
At the end of the day – our unity as believers is to be the final guideline.
There is no verse that says who we are to vote for.
Therefore, we put Christ as Lord, trusting His sovereign rule over whichever imperfect leader is elected and we find our peace and hope in Christ alone.
Our enemy is not one another or perceived ignorance but there is only one cosmic enemy and we must stand together against this ruler of darkness.
So, bottom line: redirect your thoughts to “truer truth”. “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things of earth, ...” Colossians 3:1.
3. Continually address your ultimate need for safety.
Survival instincts are all about trying to keep us safe. So that tells me I need to feel safe to live my best life. But how do we do that when we live in an unpredictable world that we can’t control?
I believe this question invites us to look for someone “bigger” than ourselves to put our trust in.
We need someone who is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving and who transcends time and space. Our hope today amidst so much uncertainty and danger has to be in something more than education, better leaders, and eradicating injustice. These are all great – but just not enough.
Here are some verses that keep me anchored in these unpredictable times.
Psalm 3:4-6 “I cried out to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy mountain. I lay down and slept, yet I woke up in safety, for the Lord was watching over me. I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side.”
1 Samuel 2:9 “He will protect his faithful ones, but the wicked will disappear in darkness. No one will succeed by strength alone.”
Hebrews 13:6 “So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
My personal anchor that brings rest to my anxious soul is:
2 Timothy 4: 17-18 “But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear. And he rescued me from certain death. Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.”
When we are safe, we can talk about anything. When our eyes are on Christ above, we can be unified.
Christians, stay the course of both truth and love until the true enemy is finally defeated.
Karla Hardin is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Trauma Specialist for Hardin Life Resources
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